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Illegal, Immoral and Fattening by Flo & Eddie (Vinyl record album review)

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Record basics

  • Album name: Illegal, Immoral and Fattening
  • Group name: Flo & Eddie
  • Year: 1975
  • Number of discs: one
  • Label: Columbia Records
  • Collection: Selman
  • Distinguishing characteristics:
    • Stamped on back of album: DEMONSTRATION / Not For Sale
    • Scratched into side one of LP: PAL 33554-1A
    • Scratched into side two of LP: PBL 33554 1A
  • Buy it on Amazon: $54.55

Illegal, Immoral and Fattening by Flo & Eddie

My review

Level of familiarity before listening

I’ve never heard of Flo & Eddie, either collectively or individually.

What I expected

I guess rock?

What it was actually like

This was not actually a rock record in the sense of being primarily about music; in fact it was a comedy record, or maybe novelty, but the point is that it was full of jokes that mostly were not funny at all. Some of them were moderately funny, though; I’m sure racial humor had quite the edge in 1975 that just does not move me to laughter in 2023. By and large, though, the lyrics were vacuous and the most common theme was references to other songs.

The Kung Fu Killer, for example, was all about how that song is terrible, which is true, and their version of There’s No Business Like Show Business was somewhat scarring.

The high points of the record were the hard rock songs, like the title track Illegal, Immoral and Fattening and Cheap. The Pop Star Massage Unit was the dumbest point.

Kama Sutra Time was a bit Oompa Loompa, and Livin’ in The Jungle was slightly funk. The Sanzini Brothers Return (With The Tibetan Memory Trick) was the most comically enjoyable.

Some of the songs were recorded live, and it did also sound like Flo & Eddie put on a really fun performance, but this is not a review of that.

Grade

2/5: weak, but I was able to listen to the whole thing

Ram by Paul and Linda McCartney (Vinyl record album review)

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Record basics

  • Album name: Ram
  • Artist name: Paul McCartney, Linda McCartney
  • Year: 1971
  • Number of discs: one
  • Label: Apple Records
  • Collection: Selman
  • Distinguishing characteristics:
    • Sticker on lower left of album cover: “M” (for McCartney)
    • Scratched into side one of LP: 5MAS-1-3375-Z1 #5 EW/N
    • Scratched into side two of LP: 5MAS-2-3375-F16 #2
  • Buy it on Amazon: $36.13

Ram by Paul and Linda McCartney

My review

Level of familiarity before listening

I’ve never listened to this record before, but it will be sixth post-Beatles McCartney record that I’ve reviewed (chronologically the second):

What I expected

I have not been particularly impressed with what McCartney has done after 1969, but there does seem to be a trend that I’ve liked his work in the first few years after the Beatles broke up more than what he did later.

What it was actually like

I didn’t hate this at all! It was nowhere near as bad as it could have been and, while I wouldn’t listen again, I do think it was fine to listen once, and it certainly has redeeming value. I did not care at all for the backing vocals, though.

The worst song was probably Long Haired Lady, a classic case of Fauls’s granny shit, as was Heart of the Country.

Monkberry Moon Delight was quite Oompa Loompa and had some weird vocals, but was not that bad.

Dear Boy was the most Beatles-sounding of the songs, but would have been one of the worst Beatles songs. Smile Away also sounded like it could have been one of the worst songs on, probably, Abbey Road, and used an electric wall sound effect.

On the subject of sound effects, Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey was full of them and they were pretty dumb, but the second part was way better than the first.

I liked the electric guitar solo on Too Many People, and the blues rock song 3 Legs was the best on the record.

Grade

3/5: interesting, but not for me

Tug of War by Paul McCartney (Vinyl record album review)

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Record basics

  • Album name: Tug of War
  • Artist name: Paul McCartney
  • Year: 1982
  • Number of discs: one
  • Label: Columbia Records
  • Collection: Selman
  • Distinguishing characteristics:
    • Scratched into side 1 of LP: PUSHING + PULLING SG AL 37462-1BA G G10
    • Scratched into side 2 of LP: PUSHING + PULLING SG BL 37462-1AE G
  • Buy it on Amazon: $37.99

Tug of War by Paul McCartney

My review

Level of familiarity before listening

I’ve never heard this record, but I’ve reviewed a bunch of post-Beatles Faul McCartney records, and have not been impressed.

What I expected

Faul’s granny shit, perhaps updated to a 1980s new wave sound.

What it was actually like

There were not any good songs on this record, but the most interesting was The Pound Is Sinking. It was a tiny bit Oompa Loompa, and also a tiny bit rocksteady. I was not sure how to classify it, but I think I would listen to it again.

Another slightly Oompa Loompa song was Ballroom Dancing, which had a good tempo, but I hated the horns – and was that a clarinet? Get It was the most Oompa Loompa song, and the one that fit most acoustically into what Lennon would have described as Faul’s Granny shit.

And on the subject of Lennon, Here Today was a sad song about his death. It was not good musically – I especially did not like the violins – but it was the closest to what I would have expected McCartney to have written towards the end of the Beatles era.

What’s That You’re Doing? and Ebony and Ivory, both of which McCartney recorded with Stevie Wonder, were the two worst songs on the record. The former had a kind of techno-funk sound that anticipated hip hop (though hip hop already had existed by the early 1980s for a while), and the latter was incredibly stupid and would have been better as just elevator music with no lyrics. I was not sure if I had ever heard it before or if I’d just heard of it, but it was so forgettable that if I were to hear it again in an hour, I probably wouldn’t recognize it.

Some of these songs, by the way, sounded like they had autotuned vocals, even though I did not think that was a thing until the late 1990s, and Wanderlust was an example.

The title track Tug of War was completely devoid of anything interesting, but also not particularly bad, either, had a very produced sound, and went from acoustic folk rock to a much harder rock sound in the middle. I guess it sounded kind of McCartneyesque.

Be What You See also changed sounds in the middle, opening like an Enya song, then turning into some kind of rock-disco crap.

Take It Away was much more new wave and terribly reggae-influenced. Somebody Who Cares was soft rock, with flute.

Grade

2/5: bad, but I was able to listen to the whole thing

McCartney by Paul McCartney (Vinyl record album review)

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Record basics

  • Album name: McCartney
  • Artist name: Paul McCartney
  • Year: 1970
  • Number of discs: one
  • Label: Apple Records
  • Collection: Selman
  • Distinguishing characteristics:
    • Hole drilled through top right of album
    • Handwritten sticker on top right of album with radio cuts
    • Handwritten sticker on bottom left with M for classification
    • Scratched into side one of LP: “STAO-1-3363 214 LH/RL”
    • Scratched into side two of LP: “STAO-2-3363 213 LH”
  • Buy it on Amazon: $9.98

McCartney by Paul McCartney

My review

Level of familiarity before listening

I’ve never listened to this record, but I have reviewed three by Wings, and did not like any of them.

What I expected

Faul’s granny shit.

What it was actually like

The first track, called The Lovely Linda, was all of 43 seconds long, and really seemed like just the idea for a song, rather than a song itself. To me, that was a microcosm for this whole record, which would have been written and recorded at a time when the Beatles were still together and when Faul could have gotten any song he wanted onto one of the group’s records, provided that it was good enough.

Much of this material, though, just would not have been good enough, and I suppose that, as much as the Beatles breakup, was the reason for it to have ended up on McCartney.

Teddy Boy was probably the worst song, and one that I could not imagine Lennon having been willing to co-write and -record. Its backing vocals were especially awful, but it was also just really bland as a folk rock song.

Kreen-Akrore also was essentially just some rubbish noise, and Singalong Junk was instrumental filler.

Momma Miss America, on the other hand, was also instrumental, but I considered it to have been the best song on record, with a great bass line. Most importantly, it was an interesting and bluesy song, and it might have made an awesome part of a great Beatles song.

Valentine Day had a pretty good electric guitar opening, and Oo You had pretty decent country rock or hard rock riff.

Hot as Sun and Glasses, which may actually have been one song, had one of those Caribbean sounds to it that I do not understand.

Junk was the most old timey song – but only until Man We Was Lonely, which was old timey and also Oompa Loompa: Faul’s granny shit to the max.

I actually recognized Maybe I’m Amazed, and considered it to have been closest to the Beatles’ quality and style, but I would probably have hated it as a Beatles song – unless it had been reworked under the influence of Lennon (and maybe even Harrison) and turned into something awesome.

Grade

3/5: interesting, but not for me

13 by the Doors (Vinyl record album review)

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Record basics

  • Album name: 13
  • Group name: the Doors
  • Year: 1970
  • Number of discs: one
  • Label: Elektra Records
  • Collection: Selman
  • Distinguishing characteristics:
    • “WAMU-AM” written in pen on front of album
    • Hole drilled through lower left corner of album
    • “WAMU-AM” written in pen on side one of LP
  • Buy it on Amazon: $31.57

13 by the Doors

My review

Level of familiarity before listening

This is a compilation record and I’ve never listened to it, but I’m pretty sure that I’ve listened to all the songs on it.

What I expected

A bunch of hits from the Doors, but missing Break On Through (To The Other Side).

What it was actually like

Here is how I rank all thirteen of the songs in order of most excellent to least, with their track numbers in parentheses:

  • Light My Fire (1)
  • Roadhouse Blues (6)
  • Love Me Two Times (8)
  • Hello, I Love You (10)
  • People Are Strange (2)
  • The Crystal Ship (5)
  • Back Door Man (3)
  • Touch Me (7)
  • Land Ho (11)
  • Wild Child (12)
  • You’re Lost Little Girl (9)
  • Moonlight Drive (4)
  • The Unknown Soldier (13)

The best part of the record was the harmonica on Roadhouse Blues.

The worst part of the record was the saxophone solo on Touch Me.

I still don’t understand why Break On Through (To The Other Side) was missing.

I had not heard Land Ho before, and it wasn’t bad at all, even though parts of it hinted at being slightly Oompa Loompa.

Grade

4/5: would listen again